How to Get the Best out of Resident Evil: Mercenaries

Resident Evil: Mercenaries boxOh, hell. I’m never one to buy a game at full price, but Resident Evil holds a special place in my heart. It was the first game to ever haunt my nightmares… I’m not afraid to admit that I still sometimes need a babysitter after playing.

Resident Evil: Mercenaris for the Nintendo 3DS was a total waste of my money. After the first hour of playing I made a mental list of things I would much rather spend my $40 on, and after two hours, I did what any normal person would do. I returned the game and used the money to buy liquor and red hair dye.

This game sucks. I wasn’t expecting much, considering it has no story and is basically a minigame to tide us over until Operation Raccoon City comes out later this year. The only objective is to kill as many zombies as you can until you can’t take it anymore. Capcom did, however, add something that I have been lusting after in Resident Evil for a long time: The ability to switch between over-the-shoulder and first person shooting. The graphics were nice, the sound was OK, but I feel like nothing new was brought to the table when it comes to handheld gaming.

Now, onto the best part of my experience with this game. The T-Virus Shot.

I am not a huge liquor drinker. I’d rather have a beer than take a shot or have a mixed drink, so I used cheap vodka because it wouldn’t make sense to spend a ton of money on booze I would never drink, etc. etc. etc. In reality, I am just a poor ass.

Any vodka or clear liquor will work.

The blue licorice was a bitch to find, but I tried this with a rolled-up blue raspberry AirHead and it worked just fine.

The Jarritos is just delicious.

All you need to do is twist a blue licorice into a tall double shot glass, fill it with your liquor of choice, and drink. You can do a double-helix pattern to be super authentic, but I stuck with just one.

There you have it! Drink about 12 of these and this game might actually be tolerable!


Posted on January 14, 2012, in Game Reviews and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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