Top Games for Your Girlfriend

Or any person missing a Y chromosome you’re hoping to woo.

Aww yeah
Aww yeah.

Christmas is over, but it’s never too early to start looking for Valentines gifts, fellas.

I have compiled a short list of games that appeal to just about everyone, but for the women in our lives most specifically. I know it’s a dream for every gamer guy out there to find a woman who shares the same interest in gaming as they do. These games are great to turn your “little here, little there” or “no games at all” girlfriend into as hardcore a gamer as you are*.

*Probably not, no one is as nerdy as you are.

3. World of Goo

This is physics and puzzle game played on Mac, Linux, iOS, Microsoft Windows, and the Wii. It’s single player, no shooting, no teams, and very little room for error. She will love the adorable personalities of the goo (Yes, I did just personify little globs of matter) and the brain-buzzing puzzles of each level. It’s quite a simple objective; get as many goo balls as you can into the vacuum at the end of each level. In order to do so, you must build a structure of sorts with the goo balls (each of which has a different special feature, some stay stationary, others can be un-stuck and re-stuck in another area, etc) and avoid the various obstructions in your path.

NOT this kind of goo.
NOT this kind of goo.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’ve had the game for about two years now and just barely finished the last chapter… NOT my best track record when it comes to video games. I would plug it in, play for about 7 hours, get frustrated, throw my computer, then forget about it for another few weeks. One improperly played goo ball can ruin the entire structure, but luckily you have the option to restart before watching your entire day’s work collapse into a pile of goop.

Overall, the game is absolutely heart warming, with the amazing soundtrack and squeal-inducing sound effects, and really does require some brainpower. Similar to giving a baby a toy if you’ve had enough, plop your little lady in front of a computer with this game and watch as she goes from “this is ridiculous” to “THIS IS AMAZING” to “Say goodbye to your computer” within minutes.

2. Plants Vs. Zombies

I had to include this because it’s the perfect way to trick your girlfriend into playing a video game without even realizing it. If you’ve got a computer, iPad, Xbox 360, Nintendo DS, Playstation 3 or Vita, or Android, you’re in luck. If you don’t have at least one of those, for one, you wouldn’t be reading this, and two; you’re not a true gamer.

She won’t realize how truly addicted she is until either her eyes fall out of her skull (always a bonus) or her thumbs pop off (not quite a bonus, but hey) because this is a game you can play for hours without ever looking back.

I’d write more about this, but it’s like describing a hug to someone. It’s just something you have to figure out for yourself. Got a dollar? Put this game on her phone, sit back, and enjoy the show.

Ahh, tis the season

  1. Castle Crashers

This is, without a doubt, the cutest game I have ever played. It takes a modern spin on the late 80’s, early 90’s side scroll beat-em-up arcade games with elements of an RPG. If she enjoys this (which she will, if not, I’ll give you the Microsoft Points back. If you’re on a PS3, sorry!) Then you can slowly move her onto the slightly less cute, slightly more awesome Streets of Rage. You can have up to four players (I say stick with two, things can get pretty crazy if there are too many players. I spent my first hour thinking I was someone else and kept wondering why my real character wasn’t leveling up) and several downloadable packs. I just got the Purple Knight and Pink Knight packs and almost had a heart attack because of how cute they are.

Absolutely everything about this game is adorable, whether it be the characters, enemies, weapons, sound effects, or the tiny animal orbs that follow you around. The story is, once again, very simple. Save the princesses from the mean guy and save the world. There are a ton of different levels that need to be defeated, ranging from a desert to snow-capped mountains to an alien hovercraft. Every time you level up, you’re given perks that you can assign to strength, magic, defense, and agility. The controls are simple, almost too simple… After about 15 minutes, I was mashing buttons and hoping for the best. My favorite features of this game are the animal orbs, which are unlockable animals that follow you around and offer different perks. Giraffy will level you up faster, Bi-Polar Bear will attack enemies (and you, if your health is low) and Bitey Bat will latch onto the heads of the bad guys… The list goes on and on. Because of the adorable nature of this game, I found a new light in a lot of real animals… Who would think a ram could possibly be cute? Pigs? Come on.

You just wait. By the end of these games, you will have a whole new outlook on life. Cute things are always better. And hey, you might have sparked a different side of your lady friend you’ve never seen before.


Posted on December 30, 2011, in IMHO and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Love world of goo, even if it is fustrating..

    mentions streets of rage which is one of my fave games..

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